I am not a good enough mom.
I am not a good enough wife.
I am not thin enough.
I am not Pinterest-y enough.
I am not pretty enough.
I am not humble enough.
I am not assertive enough.
I am not smart enough.
I am not spiritual enough.
If I asked you raise your hand for each of the above statements that rang true to you, how many would have your hand raised for two?…three?…over half? We could replace the descriptor with any character trait or role…and I bet some of us would still nod our heads in agreement.
Can I just be honest and tell you that I’ve been struggling for most of our marriage with feelings of “not good enough”? Some of that has been of my own doing, and some of it I feel like I’ve been thrust into whether I believed it about myself in the beginning or not. I’ve read books, articles, and blog posts. I’ve listened to wisdom and encouragement from other women and messages from teachers I respect. But no matter how many times I’ve read it or heard, my heart just doesn’t want to believe. The hurt goes deep into a place that is rarely touched by anything other than God’s grace. The same grace that I am so ready to give to others yet find impossible to give myself. But lately I’ve also felt deeply convicted to pursue truth about who I am in Christ.
At the end of the sixth day of creation, after God created woman he “saw everything he had made, and behold, it was good…” (Genesis 1:31a).
God said it was good. All of what he made was good. When we believe lies about who we are in Christ, aren’t we looking at one of God’s greatest creations and saying to him – “your creation isn’t good enough”?
Not enough is a lie. Let that sink in. It is a lie and it isn’t from God. Why? Because God is truth. Throughout scripture we read that the spirit is truth (John 15:26, 1 John 5:6, John 14:6). If God is truth, that leaves only one place for untruth in this world – in Satan. He does not stand in truth, does not embody truth, and seeks to lie out of his own character (John 8:44). And when the lies hold us back from being powerful, loving, God-fearing and obedient women the implication is great. I no longer want to allow Satan a place in my life. I don’t want to question the worth of what God made or be hindered in my work for the kingdom of God because I let the voice of Satan become louder than the voice of God. I want to do the good work of the gospel in the way God so purposefully orchestrated in my life. I want to do great works even in the small things.
“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. (John 14:12)
It is easy to want a change. I dream about the day when shame no longer holds me back. When fear doesn’t exist and lies don’t hold weight in my heart. But how do we start the process of pulling ourselves out of the pit that Satan wants to keep us in?
We must fight. Fight for our identity. Fight against the lies of Satan because friends – what God made is beautiful. If it’s dark and ugly and right now – know we all fall short of perfection but we are justified by his grace through redemption (Romans 3:23-24). There is redemption. There is grace. That means the lies can’t be true and God is enough – his grace means we don’t have to be. When we accept Jesus as our personal savior, we are made into a “new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator” (Colossians 3:10). As this “new self” we are presented as holy, blameless, and free from the lies of the enemy because of the precious blood of Christ (Colossians 1:22).
Practically, God has put a few different things on my heart lately as I’ve been battling with some “not enough” lies. I think the best way to fight the lies is to shine light on them. Call them out and cover them with God’s truth.
Truth – God’s word is truth and I need to store this in my heart
Abide – Taking my knowledge a step further by living in the presence of God – believing
Grace – I must accept this for myself as freely as God offers it to us
Dear, sweet friend. I don’t know who you are or what you are going through. But if you agreed to even one of those “not enough” statements, know that you aren’t alone. Because know the weight of believing that you just aren’t enough.
But I also know God’s creation is beautiful and he does nothing imperfectly. As we begin to grasp what that means for our hearts, God will transform our minds – day by day, minute by minute – to reflect the true character of who we are.
If you are struggling with the lies of the enemy in your marriage, I encourage you to read my story and know that you aren’t alone. My marriage hasn’t always been easy and we continue to have ups and down as we navigate the waters of two imperfect people trying to obedient to Christ. Start here